The Perfect Souvenir
Van Gogh, Vincent. Fishing in Spring, the Pont de Clichy (1887). Art Institute Chicago. CC0 Public Domain Designation.
Why does vacation feel so good?
Daily life can feel so frenzied, so rushed. Like there’s always something more to do. Then you go on vacation and whoosh. All that buzzing energy melts away. Like when someone turns off a white noise machine that you hadn’t fully realized was on. There’s a quiet and peace that you didn’t realize you were missing.
Of course it’s an enormous luxury to vacation at all. I’ve been hugely fortunate to travel as much as I have. Plenty of folks don’t enjoy that same privilege.
With gratitude for time away, there’s also a longing for more.
More vacation vibes, please
Is there a way to bring those vacation feelings back into daily life?
To cut through the constant clamor of things that need doing, kids who need attention, dishes that need washing, decisions that need making. To feel relaxed and curious and surrounded by interesting people and places. To not feel constantly rushed by the events of the day, or overwhelmed by your to do list.
Wouldn’t that be the ultimate souvenir?
We vacation differently now
At 40 years old, our vacations look different now. Most recently we were in Phoenix with friends basically trying to live our best retiree life.
First of all, there were no kids. Love them as we do, it’s been wisely said that a vacation with your kids is really just parenting in a different location. It’s not the same.
So there were no kids. But there were also no late nights. The majority of us also weren’t drinking any more, so there were no hangovers.
Instead, there were puzzles on the coffee table. We had early bedtimes and early morning hot tubs. One morning we put out a bowl of ice water for facial cold plunges.During the day, we putzed around at local attractions. Whenever we were at home, you could find me almost immediately nestling into my robe.
It was simply fabulous.
What makes it feel so good?
This isn’t a new question and I probably don’t have any new ideas on this theme.
But one morning I was sitting at the kitchen counter of the rental house. The light outside got gradually brighter as the day started. My friends and fellow travelers started to trickle in and fill their coffee mugs, each settling into their own morning rituals. I was so fucking content.
I asked myself, “why does this feel so good?”
Here’s what I came up with:
Doing less. On this trip, we truly only ever had a few goals each day. We took care of only those. We didn’t have to rush anywhere or for anything.
Being among friends. Talking to adults is such a game changer, man. Connecting with them (especially if you are usually interfacing with pets & small children) is truly phenomenal for the soul.
Going outside. Traveling south to longer days and warmer air makes this one much easier. But just being outside is such a remedy, even a Wisconsin winter. As I’ve heard it said, there is no bad weather, only bad clothes.
Experiencing new things. It takes a little upfront effort, but it’s good for everyone to do something novel and challenging. A hike, a walk through a garden, even some casual window shopping to scope out local artists. Even if it’s something familiar, can you see it through fresh eyes?
Minimizing the house. Nothing like being in an immaculate AirBnB to get the chimes of jealousy ringing. There’s a place for everything and everything’s in its place. The pantry only has what we bought because we thought we could eat it in that 4-day span. The counters are clear of clutter and cleanup is a breeze.
Streamlining the wardrobe. It’s refreshing to have fewer choices of what to wear, just my favorite things that I packed into my suitcase. Getting dressed for the day is just a function of what fits the weather and the planned activities. Minimal decision making.
Simplifying the desk. My backpack forcefully limits the number of pens, books, notebooks, and projects I can bring on vacation. It helped me to see what I’d prioritized for this time, rather than the bulging inbox of things I’ve neglected or forgotten on my desk back home.
One of many TO DO piles I have hidden around my studio. Taunting me.
Handing over control. I don’t have much in the way of professional responsibilities these days, but I put many of them aside for others to handle while we were gone. And you know what, the world didn’t fall apart. When we’re on vacation, we’re forced to trust, to delegate, and to ask for help.
Opening time to think. When you’re in transit or relaxing in the sun, there’s just so much more time to pause and reflect. Let the mind wander. On our vacation, I jotted down pages and pages of ideas…reactions from my reading, ideas that came to me, inspiration for my book. All these stray threads in my brain that I managed to catch and weave back into the real, physical world by writing them on the page.
Creating a life that has room for creating
But how does this all link back to writing and creating?
I’m not totally sure, but I wonder: what would it mean to me to microdose vacation more regularly in your life?
Instead of grinding away at all the tasks of daily life, is it possible to pretend to be a vacationer in your own life? Imagine an alien warped into your body. They may have even paid for the experience, the getaway! They return back home and tell all their friends. “You wouldn't believe it. Living life as a SAHM and aspiring writer! It was so fascinating. Every day was sort of the same, but everything was also always changing? What a challenge! And you can’t imagine how many beautiful things I saw and delicious things I ate and the joy that I felt. 5 out of 5 stars would recommend.”
There’s something about that attitude that just makes me feel a little bit lighter and freer than I normally let myself be.
And maybe that lightness and that openness can help let a little more creativity in.
So, what do you love about vacation? Do you feel refreshed and rejuvenated after a wonderful trip? Have you had a burst of inspiration or clarity while away from your normal day-to-day life?
Ring of the Axe: STILL re-reading the first draft
Deep sigh. I’m currently 72% through my re-read. Honestly…I expected to be done by now. What can I say? I let my habits slip and started to use my precious creative time to do things that were still urgent and important, but just a little bit easier than this project. I procrastinated.
Now I’m committed to finishing my re-read by March 1, including a high-level list of the biggest structural, character, and thematic changes that I plan to make. There’s so much to say about this process, so I’ll dive deeper in my next newsletter!
